The Bloomington, IL. chapter of BAN is not affiliated with or compensated in promoting any of the recommended resources.
Spouses Needing To Heal From Betrayal.
One part of the unfairness of infidelity is - through no choice of your own - your world has been shattered. You are left holding the responsibility for healing your pain, because no one else can heal you, except for you.
Michele Rosenthal, host of YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA
- In brief, Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception
- The essential characteristic in an attempt to rationalize unfaithfulness is to create a framework in which the cheater was justified in his/her action by an imagined or non-addressed fault caused by the cheated.
- Has your Wayward Spouse begun describing a marriage unfamiliar to you and a history of which you don’t believe you were a part? Have you been told that the infidelity is your fault or that your spouse never loved you in the first place?
- In a world where a marriage is as likely to end as not, we sometimes forget what a partnership is in the early days after discovery of infidelity. We lose ourselves in the desperation to hold onto your loved one. Remembering your rights will help you no matter which path your marriage takes.
- 180 is a list of behaviors from Michelle Wiener Davis, the author of Divorce Busting, that will help your spouse to see you moving forward as a healthy person. I would highly suggest that any new BS begin these behaviors as soon as possible.
- Infidelity wounds are invisible to the eye, so those who have never experienced infidelity see the torment of the betrayed spouse as an overreaction. They have a hard time fathoming how the horror of powerlessness and helplessness can be felt in a situation that hasn't caused any physical damage, bloody bodies, or unimaginable horror.
- The decision to have an affair usually isn't a one time decision. It's a series of small steps that you end up rationalizing and justifying. Rationalization can fool us, by making what we know or suspect is unethical or immoral seem perfectly ethical or moral. Like a train speeding downhill, without breaks, our rationalizations gain momentum, pushing us faster and further, and we are under the illusion that we can stop the runaway train any time we choose. We become oblivious to the consequence that may ensue.
Collection of Affair Recovery Articles From Peggy Vaughn
- Peggy Vaughn has been described as the matriarch of affair recovery. Her mission: To help men and women dealing with the devastating impact of a spouses affair, because she was there herself.
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Mistakes Were Made, but not by me
A compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right