Helping you heal... after the trauma of a partners affair

What Is Ban?
BAN (Beyond Affairs Network) is a non-profit organization made up of local support groups for people who are dealing with the devastating impact of a spouse's affair. It is for women and men (still married or divorced) seeking support in recovering from the experience of having been betrayed through infidelity. Whether you found out last night or last year, the effects are the same…unprocessed trauma can affect us for a lifetime
BAN is a support group ONLY FOR THE BETRAYED SPOUSE ... If a couple is working to restore their marriage after an affair, when the betrayed attends BAN, both spouses benefit.

If you are looking for support groups in McLean County, our support meetings are held in Bloomington, Illinois. Meeting are typically held the second Monday of every month. If you live in Normal - Peoria - Heyworth - Gibson City - Decatur - Champaign, or within driving distance, we encourage you to attend our face-to-face infidelity support group meetings.
* BAN supports betrayed spouses who choose not to remain in their marriages, and those who are never given the opportunity to make this choice.
Your decision is a very personal one and you will never be told to stay in or leave your marriage.

BAN does not claim religious affiliations and is for everyone, regardless of religious beliefs. Every members religious beliefs are a personal choice. BAN respects the religious decisions of each of it's members.
Note to the wayward spouse:

If you've reached
Healing After Affairs Bloomington, IL.
(the local chapter of Beyond Affairs Network) in hopes of helping your spouse heal from the devastating effects of your affair, I commend you for recognizing that your spouse will need extra support through this life changing experience. Verbal explanations of the utter devastation and trauma of a spouses affair do not adequately describe what a betrayed spouse is going through.
BAN is for the betrayed spouse, and your spouse must initiate the correspondence to find out about local support meetings. I encourage you to pass the information for this Bloomington BAN Group onto your spouse, but ultimately attendance is their choice.
How can BAN help me?
  • BAN provides an opportunity for people who are dealing with the devastating impact of a spouse’s affair to come together face-to-face, for strength, insight, and mutual support.
  • Provides a safe place to share the painful emotions after an affair that interfere with recovery and a place to gain perspective and understanding, aimed at thinking more clearly and acting more effectively, in order to proactively move forward, make more informed personal decisions and recover from this experience.
  • Reinforces people’s own efforts toward recovery - working in conjunction with and not in place of, other support they are seeking, such as therapy, infidelity counseling or marriage healing and strengthening seminars.
  • Assist people to reach a point where they are fully healed from the experience, and no longer need support.
  • To become as commonly known, and available worldwide, as other major support groups, such as Al-Anon, so that no betrayed spouse needs to suffer in isolation.

For more information on the National BAN Network, please see their website

Beyond Affairs Network

Disclaimer:
The Healing After Affairs Website is to promote the local chapter of BAN in Bloomington, IL. It does not represent the entire BAN Network, nor necessarily reflect the opinions and/or values of other BAN chapters, members, directors or affiliates. Read the entire site disclaimer...

Understanding The Road To An Affair

Wouldn't it be nice if life had a giant red sign flashing DANGER when we're about to make a life altering decision? If you begin to look at the act of rationalizing as your danger sign, you'll find that it will always warn you when you're getting ready to make a wrong turn.
The discovery of a spouses affair is traumatic to say the least. Healing from infidelity is a long and painful process that requires you to focus on yourself and your needs. Your world is understandably shattered and filled with overwhelming emotions. Everything you are feeling is a normal response to an abnormal situation. Don't worry about trying to convince others that the trauma inflicted upon you was unjustified. There is never any excuse for infidelity that would make it justified. Yet, justifying the utter devastation to the betrayed spouse is precisely what the cheating spouse does. Your life has been profoundly changed - the challenge is accepting that you can never go back, and transforming that change into an opportunity for personal growth. This change is a transformation you choose, not one that has been inflicted upon you. Your spouses infidelity is not a reflection of your inadequacy, but a reflection of theirs.